Dilemma: My spouse is chronically ill and sexually dysfunctional.

Couples where one partner is ill often avoid talking about sex and perpetuate the situation. It is an undesirable situation. It's better to open up, share, and cope. A hug, a kiss, and body-to-body contact can almost always be held.

• Tantric sex, which does not necessarily involve penetration, is especially recommended for the chronically ill. The marital relationship is of critical importance in the recovery of patients from any chronic illness or addiction. Stories of recovery from severe illnesses are often stories of great Love. 
• Men and women with chronic illnesses often have difficulty with sexual function but have no restrictions on receiving and giving Love. When the relationship is supportive and loving, the patient gives more Love than usual because the patient appreciates the healthy spouse's sacrifice and support. The atmosphere and conduct are different and felt when the marital relationship is only apparent.

It is essential to emphasize that sick, disabled, or overweight people also have sexual needs. Sexual fantasies are not harmed as a result of morbidity. Therefore, it is essential to adapt to a sex suitable to the patient's condition. Complete cessation of sexual relations harms the health of body and mind. Link: Improving sexual function In chronic patients and the disabled.

Unfortunately, coping with a spouse's long-term illness is common in the modern age.

The question of how to behave with a sick spouse is a question that few talk about.

• Living with a spouse who suffers from a prolonged chronic illness is the ultimate test of any relationship, not just sexuality. Chronic diseases usually intensify the relationship, positive or negative. Some couples strengthen their bond during sickness, but other relationships may not survive. The decision to stay together is a joint decision between the two partners, but the healthy spouse must not feel he is making a painful sacrifice.
• Many years ago, a naturopathic therapist told me that if the emotional connection between the couple before the prolonged outbreak of the disease were excellent, the relationship would only deepen. And if the bond weren't proper, it probably wouldn't survive either! (I'm not an expert in the field; I believe she was right.)

Prolonged betrayal of the healthy spouse is not only sexual but emotional abandonment!

• The sick spouse, usually aware of the infidelity, sometimes consciously ignores it to avoid conflict with the spouse "doing him or her a favor" by staying with them. But the patient pays for it an energetic price of "humiliation" and a feeling of inferiority.
• As a severe chronic Liver-kidney patient, after many years of struggling with survival, including prolonged treatments in China, I felt no longer an emotional connection between my wife and me but only an economic relationship. I realized that I had to end a long marriage despite the difficulties. The decision is, of course, individual, as everyone is in a different situation.

I gained courage only when I felt I was in advanced recovery. Divorce and separation can deplete life-force energy; avoiding conflicts for patients in severe conditions is advisable. Despite the many difficulties of getting divorced at an older age, I am happy with my decision. At the same time, it is a personal decision that others cannot deduce.

You can read the article for more practical recommendations, including those for chronically ill patients without a spouse. 

Link: Improving sexual function In chronic patients and the disabled.

My spouse is chronically ill and sexually dysfunctional. What am I supposed to do?

1. Do people (men and women) with chronic diseases have sexual fantasies and needs?

When about half of the adult population over 50 has at least one chronic disease, the question of sexual function is one of the most challenging problems among couples, and it is also very little talked about.

 My neighbor is in a wheelchair! It is impossible to have sex in such a situation.

 Disabled people are unable to have sex. It's a cruel fate!

 At age 60 or later, most couples stop having sex anyway.

 Even if chronic patients are not at their peak of sexual fitness, they need love, touch, intimacy, and sex. The ability to fantasize is not impaired.

See my suggested, most suitable answer »

A more detailed explanation:

1. The most suitable answer is answer number 4.
Men and women with chronic illnesses often have difficulty with sexual function but have no restrictions on receiving and giving love. The most potent health drugs are love, touch, warmth, romance, intimacy, and sex.