I feel the frustration and discomfort you are experiencing. I recommend you read the article in the attached link.
Androgynous (non-binary) people have two sets of magnetic poles (Instead of one): one feminine and one masculine.
Both Androgynous men and women (often referred to as non-binary) look energetically the same. Androgynous people are simultaneously male-female twins at the energy level; they are usually not in a conflict that requires sex reassignment surgery, contrary to transgender people. Androgynous people have a dual, feminine, and masculine identity, not necessarily with conflict in sexual identity. Energetically, females and males look the same. It might also explain their dual visual resemblance.
Link: The Unified Energetic Model of Sexual Identities and Orientations. (Alixin's theory)
https://www.sf-healing.com/page/169 (Copy & Paste)
The next post: Terminology about human sexuality tends to have names with a connotation but without a clear distinction between the 3 main categories.
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