Discussion: I am 45-plus years old and have been married for about 20 years to a violent husband. I feel he hates me. I think my health is severely harmed.

Violence (even if it is only verbal) is a traumatic event that severely damages our bodies. The cumulative effect is destructive. Try to overcome the (natural) fears and get mental and legal help (if necessary). Living with hatred and violence leads to chronic illness, leaving you in an even more difficult situation. Separations and divorces are often complex, expensive, and burdensome for children. You should consult with people close to you with the utmost discretion.